Coming from a country as north as Finland, to me winters are freezing cold and insanely dark. None of that -2 degrees celsius, it's-a-tad-nippy-oh-well-I'll-wear-a-pretty-scarf kind of a cold. Oh no, I mean the There's-no-crying-in-
[Disclaimer: I'm from the south of Finland. So to a lot of others I'm just a whiny little city-kid who has no clue what cold is. So, there's always someone who has it worse/better depending on how you look at it]
Winters here in Montreal are quite similar to the ones in Helsinki. There might even be more snow here but to balance that off there's a bit more daylight. I always joke I moved south, which is absolutely true but people just tend to look at me like I'm nuts (which, consequently, is most likely true as well).
All this is to say that this year I'm not feeling the usual creeping feeling of... well... bumminess. Generally it's the kind of a vague feeling where you are not looking forward to what's coming up. Doesn't mean there's anything bad happening, but just one of those slightly blue feelings. Do you know what I'm talking about?
This year I'm feeling oddly expectant. Like winter is not half bad after all. It might just be my warm and cozy christmas mood that started extra early this year, but I am almost waiting for snow. It's very strange. I'm not quite sure what happened. Lt me give you an example how serious this is getting; I went to spend some time with my sister-in-law and my nephew on Friday and caught myself talking about buying skates. Me! Seriously?
I've been thinking about this unusually positive mood and trying to figure out where it's coming from.
Some time ago, after talking to some people I now find extremely negative and bitter, I made a firm decision that I will not, under any circumstances become like them. I had caught myself making comments that could've been made by them and realized I am thinking like they are. I had to stop and rethink what kind of an outlook I want to have. And I decided being happy sounds like a pretty good idea.
So, that's what I did. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I just decided I'll be happy and nothing sucky ever happened again. This is an ongoing process and at times it's frustrating when life throws those curveballs at you. But I find that for the first time, with this approaching winter, I'm not feeling trepidation or vaguely down that winter is coming. I'm *hesitantly* excited. I sort of like this feeling.
This post doesn't really have much rhyme or reason, merely some observations. I guess this feeling is equivalent to those who after months of hard work at the gym all of a sudden notice some of the changes they have been hoping for. I'm not at my goal, but all this work is at least starting to pay off. If you're a generally positive person, this all might sound odd to you, but to me this is a change. It's quite interesting.
My gut reaction is to apologize all this gushy happiness talk that doesn't sound much like the old me, but in the spirit of this post, I will not.
So, how are you feeling about the approaching winter?